song du jour:The Song, Kirpi
mood: nearly delusional from lack of sleep
Yes, that's right. Been saving the big news. The crew from HGTV's 'That's Clever!' will be here tomorrow, filming me make this piece. Yes, I still only do one of a kind, so what a trip it's been not only making a piece I made and sold 7 years ago but also 8 little fishy clones in various stages of gestation. If I ever become wildly famous (instead of just notorious) I could make a killing forging myself... uh... anyway...
Now I know you're probably thinking my lack of rest is due to cookie over consumption, but this is sadly not the recent case. It was due to the fish cloning and the extreme need to finally look like I've moved in and finished decorating the studio (after over 7 years of being in this house!) A huge giant public thank you from the bottom of my heart to the Cookie Monster for sacrificing time and sleep to make this place look so good. A straight man, who knows how to arrange books, objet d'art, knick knacks, chachkas, and general junk with creativity and speed is not to be taken for granted. Not to mention, I have a tendency to want to kill most adults and small children, who descend upon the inner sanctum. Not so the Cookie Monster, who helps induce hyper-zoomin'-creative-flow states, although he'll probably understandably be happy to steer clear for a little while of a level of chaos that's high even by my standards. ;-)
Imagine my complete dismay, however, when the director and field producer showed up for the prep today 45 minutes early. If you don't know me in person, I'll tell you I really do go around looking like those photos on the site, complete with wannabe Steive Nicks wardrobe, eyeliner and earrings at ALL times, yet there I was answering the door in a big Snoopy shirt (sans bra... at least they were women), gray yoga pants, no makeup, NO JEWELRY, and my hair in post shower lump dreads. At least I'd had a shower... At least they were happy with the fish clones and liked the studio. Oh, and I have to wear my hair back. They won't film metal artists with their hair down. Damn.
With last week's rehearsal and the climax, denouement, and final death of my Carly Simon sized stage fright, I didn't have much time for fish cloning. I'm sure it was all my mother could do not to tell me my priorities were skewed with the 'fun' performance vs. the 'career boosting' TV shoot, but I knew if I could pull of 3 performances to my satisfaction, talking about what I love to do the same way I do to my students and pushing the laws of metallurgy to the absolute max in front of a camera would be a piece of cake. Besides, I deserve to have a life.
Ah, but onto the update of last week. Thanks to all, who sent well wishes my way, and to those, who were able to attend. My Carly spirit has been officially exorcised. Just at the point I was afraid I wouldn't be able to stop myself from barfing in fear, I began to dissolve some of the lingering crap that has been so persistently creeping back, and what was fear turned into fun and excitement, and a butterflyish feeling more akin to getting ready for a hot date than a solo on stage.
As soon as I arrived at the studio, Ofelia came up and told me there was no problem with my tossed veil and apologized for freaking me out, having been "in left brain mode instead of right." (All previous artistic directors I've know would sooner have eaten their jazz oxfords than be concerned with a dancer's feelings.) Well, that's why I love this place. However professional they strive to be, they always remember it's about the people, and I have to say, that's all down to her vision of what dance can be. I also got to hear what Skyler had said to her when I was changing for the rehearsal: "Hi, Miss Ofelia! I'm delighted to see you again!" whereupon he stuck out his hand to shake hers. "My Mommy is the most beautifullest dancer EVER!" From the perspective of The Mommy, all issues with age appropriate Oedipal complexes and watching one's mother bellydance aside, it just doesn't get any better than that unless perhaps it's my NY tough girl choreographer and instigator of my returning to the stage telling me she had tears in her eyes when she saw me dance at the first show on Saturday.
Just before I went on the first night, Ofelia walked up to me and told me I was "going to have SO much FUN!" She was right. I wasn't shaky. I wasn't scared. I was at one with music and the audience, and I had the time of my life, and then managed to do it all again for the 2 shows on Saturday. People, who had never even spoken to me or made eye contact (like a few instructors) came up and gushed. All the other dancers, having snuck out in the dark on the sidelines to watch (professionalism be damned in the face of solidarity!), whooping and clapping certainly helped put me over the top for the final Saturday performance. The whole thing was a blast, and I have to say watching trained pros and even hip hop tappers, who'd only been at it 4 months, all blow audiences away made my spirit soar and made me feel privileged to be a contributor to such a creative event.
taken by my mom!
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